You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my being single is dangerous.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
