No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
