I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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