even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
