id be glad to
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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