Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
