I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
