I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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