so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
