I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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