Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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