Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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