k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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