Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
