how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she smelled like a LAN party
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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