idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
