they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
