we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
