She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
