when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
