it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
