can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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