don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize