So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
