remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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