He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
