I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
