So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize