we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
