I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
