I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
