Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
