Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
