Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
