wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
