69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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