i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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