would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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