and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
