: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
