Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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