I think I won the penis lottery.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
