I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
