she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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