at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
