apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
