the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
