He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
