i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
