i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
