I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
