I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
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kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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