So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
